Paper Tiger

true fact:

if you haven’t eaten in 1.5 days a bottle of wine will get you drunk. who knew?

on: loving, leaving, friendships and that sort of messy stuff

i’m that kind of person that will wait to speak to you, instead of text you certain things. for instance i always wanted to tell you, “you’re going to hurt me. i’m going to hurt you. that is just how life works, if we’re lucky, we wont hurt each other too bad. if we’re lucky, we’ll look past it.”

when something feels like an end, we tend to think about the things we were saving to speak, instead of text. we tend to think of the laugh that would follow, or the humbled, murmured response. i’ve always believed that people come into your life when they are supposed to. sometimes they come, and go, and come back several times, until they decide to stay, make a cup of coffee and light a cigarette next to you. sometimes we ignore each other because we don’t have the words to make it better. we look at our respective mobiles. notice how their name slowly descends the rank from most recent text, call, voicemail.

sometimes if we’re lucky, we end up back where we once were. safe, comfortable, happy, vulnerable, unashamed, uninhibited. there are many times in life where we don’t end up back there. lovers and friends weave back and forth in our lives, each city, each road-trip, each time we leave our homes. strangers become friends. friends become lovers. 

 they all will go, at some point. we die. we get sick. we get married. we move to another country. no, it never is easy when you feel like you’ve “lost” someone. you rack your brain for the reason, what did “i” do?  maybe its better, some say. maybe it shows us that for that one moment in time, we were worth loving. at one moment we meant something to someone, and in that moment there was no pain, there were no questions.

i sit here with Bukowski, looking at a valentine i made, too early. do i send it? do i dispose it? dismantle? none of the above. i’ll keep it. and if you ever come back, you’ll receive it. it reminds me of our first interaction. it reminds me of when you made me laugh, and it’s just a spoon.

“of course I’m putting dat ass on a moped…”

!!!!!!!!!!! I’m gonna feel the wind in my hair, guys !!!!!!!

Myocardial Infarction

I just received a voicemail from the hospital to call them first thing tomorrow. I’m not supposed to go back in for results and tests until Saturday.

*breaths into paper bag*

i said virginity is a childhood disease

and these days it seems, has interest of the attic thief

patience for the ever dramatical grief

there’s only four ways to acquire, anyone who says different is a salesman or a liar

you can find it, earn it, make it, or steal it

i haven’t found a single way to keep it.

you can leash it, it’ll leave. you can teach it to stay and it’ll leave

and day by day it leaves by degrees.

congratulations to the dry eyes

consolation to the nice guys

condensation is on the underside of everything i touch

i seem to chill the objects that i meant to love so much.

pump the anesthesia, spite the man that leaves you.

Anonymous asked: Aren't you going to Michigan for your birthday?

I am intrigued at what made you think that, I wont be. I will be in Michigan after my birthday. I’m still gonna drink all your whiskey, Michigan! Also, I’m sorry if I break anything in advance.